cnnbreakingofficial: yahoo just bought tumblr lets go back to myspace
Argument I heard on the bus
Guy 1: no, niggah, gay bros can raise babies. Look at that warthog motherfucker and that ferret thing that raised Simba. And that niggah became king of motherfucking Africa.
How to break up with someone: Give them a sock and tell them they are a free elf now.
The awkward moment when you open youtube and cant...
sodamnrelatable: Who listens to music on youtube?
Not Many Baseball Players would do This, Jeremy... →
Jeremy Affeldt makes $6 million a year pitching for the San Francisco Giants, and reportedly has grossed at least $30 million since joining the major leagues in 2002. But all of that money hasn’t gone to his head.
fluent-in-lesbianism: forsciencejohn: when I say “I wish they would turn this book into a movie” what I really mean is “I wish they would turn this book into a 17-hour-long spectacle that includes every single solitary detail and doesn’t deviate at all from the storyline and has perfect casting”
Hey look, actual "unique" questions
1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Closed
2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? If they smell good, yes.
3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? Out
4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before? No. Is on the bucket list.
5: Do you like to use post-it notes? All the time. Then loose them.
6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? Only coupons I use are the ones they give you at Target because they go straight into my purse.
7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? Bear. Better story.
8: Do you have freckles? Nope.
9: Do you always smile for pictures? Yes
10: What is your biggest pet peeve? Impolite people
11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk? No
12: Have you ever peed in the woods? No
13: What about pooped in the woods? No
14: Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing? Yep
15: Do you chew your pens and pencils? When I was a kid.
16: How many people have you slept with this week? None. Thanks for that reminder
17: What size is your bed? Full
18: What is your Song of the week? Lana Del Rey's Young and Beautiful.
19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink? Don't see why not.
20: Do you still watch cartoons? Yes
21: Whats your least favorite movie? The Game
22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? Not telling
23: If you're a girl, bra size? If you're a guy, pants size? Don't go there.
24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in? BBQ sauce
25: What is your favorite food? Tacos.
26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love? Love Actually.
27: Last person you kissed/kissed you? One of my class kids.
28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout? Nope
29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? Doubt it.
30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? Today
31: Can you change the oil on a car? No
32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket? No
33: Ever ran out of gas? No
34: Favorite kind of sandwich? Asiago roast beef
35: Best thing to eat for breakfast? French toast
36: What is your usual bedtime? Between 11-midnight
37: Are you lazy? I have my moments
38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? Many things.
39: What is your Chinese astrological sign? No idea
40: Are you horny? Uh...no
41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions? No
42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs? Legos
43: Are you stubborn? Yes
44: Who is better...Leno or Letterman? Stewart and Colber
45: Ever watch soap operas? Yep
46: Are you afraid of heights? No
47: Do you sing in the car? All the time
48: Do you sing in the shower? Of course
49: Do you dance in the car? No
50: Ever used a gun? Yes
51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? School picture day
52: Do you think musicals are cheesy? No! Have you ever seen Singing in the Rain?!
53: Is Christmas stressful? No
54: Ever eat a pierogi? No
55: Favorite type of fruit pie? Don't like pie.
56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Doctor
57: Do you believe in ghosts? Sure
58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Yes
59: Take a vitamin daily? Yes
60: Wear slippers? Yes
61: Wear a bath robe? Yes
62: What do you wear to bed? whatever I want
63: First concert? I don't remember....umm...
64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Target
65: Nike or Adidas? Nike
66: Cheetos Or Fritos? Fritos
67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Sunflower
68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? No
69: Ever take dance lessons? Yes
70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? No
71: Can you curl your tongue? Yes
72: Ever won a spelling bee? No
73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Almost, but no.
74: Own any record albums? Yes
75: Own a record player? Yes
76: Regularly burn incense? No
77: Ever been in love? Yes
78: Who would you like to see in concert? Queen.
79: What was the last concert you saw? Childish Gambino
80: Hot tea or cold tea? Hot
81: Tea or coffee? Tea
82: Sugar or snickerdoodles? Booth
83: Can you swim well? Well enough
84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yes
85: Are you patient? Yes
86: DJ or band, at a wedding? Both
87: Ever won a contest? Yes
88: Ever have plastic surgery? No
89: Which are better black or green olives? Hate olives
90: Can you knit or crochet? No
91: Best room for a fireplace? Whichever one you spend the most time in
92: Do you want to get married? Yes
93: If married, how long have you been married?
94: Who was your HS crush? Justin Timberlake
95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? No
96: Do you have kids?No
97: Do you want kids? Yes
98: Whats your favorite color? Red...maybe
99: Do you miss anyone right now? Not really
psychoticpingouins: 48 years ago a girl said “oh fuck me” to her best friend while walking in the street, a guy who randomly passed by answered by “let me at least buy you dinner first”. I present to you my grandparents, in love since then and celebrating their 47 years of marriage today.
Email snippet of the day
Listen. Not all of us have a giant black man fawning over us. Some of us have to rely on the human trafficking of gingers. Get your head out of the clouds and get on my level.
Everything Sacramento: travislatrine: I saw this... →
travislatrine: I saw this really cute girl with greenish hair today while I was at the downtown Sacramento Mall on K Street. I said something really loud about Dip N Dots and she jumped out of nowhere and shared her love of Dip N Dots. She was wearing a really awesome TARDIS dress. I’m…
Me: You’ve got this. Inner me: I’ve got this? Me: You. Have. Got. This.
Carrie Underwood To Take Over Faith Hill's Sunday...
I know it isn’t an actual song, but I really like the SNF theme song. Weird, I know. Carrie Underwood is a good choice.
Things I learned today
4,693 people died on the job last year. 3,374 sexual assaults were reported by members of the military last year, which average out to about 9 assaults a day. That’s a 37% increase from the year before. Sir-Mix-A-Lots “Baby got back” came out 21 years ago today.
It really doesn’t take much to make me happy. Just bread, tacos, shoes, and books. And Nutella.
serverussnape-always: WHEN A BOOK IS JUST SO ELOQUENTLY WRITTEN AND THE CHARACTERS ARE BEAUTIFUL AND HAVE AMAZING DEVELOPMENT AND EVERYTHING IS DESCRIBED SO PERFECTLY THAT YOU CAN PICTURE IT SO FLAWLESSLY IN YOUR HEAD AND JUST LITERATURE